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Christmas was brilliant! We had my mum and Gui's parents over on Christmas Eve, an I thought it was gonna be horrible cos Gui's mum is dead mean, but she weren't that bad this time. Reckon everyone was on their best behaviour!

Plus they was only over for a few hours before fucking off and lettin us have the rest of Christmas to ourselves. Gui got me an ace present, too. I didn't know how Chrismtas was gonna be, cos me an him had a huge row last month about if we should move into a proper house once we get married, but we we worked it out and he definitely made up for bein a cunt with the pressie he gave me. He and my mum put together this big photo album for me of pictures of me an Simon when we was growin up. It's dead nice, cos I never really had no photos of him since they was all at my mum's flat, but now I can look at them whenever I want.

It was well thoughtful of them both...loads better then my present to Gui :P I got him this kit what has spices from all over the world, cos he said he wanted to do more international cookin. That weren't very personal though...so I also got him a vibrator, haha! Pete went with me to pick it out, cos I don't know nothin about sex toys. Gui looked horrified when he unwrapped it on Christmas though, so I reckon he's probably too prude to use it anyway.

I also got Max a little Christmas tree whats just his size. He didn't seem to know what to make of it, cos he just kept starin at the lights. I think he expected it to give off heat like the heat lamp in his aquarium or sommat, haha. I also gave him some extra meal worms an he loved those. Too bad I couldn't actually wrap nothin for him, cos he don't got hands to open anything with :P



How was everyone elses Christmas?

[private entry]

I know I should still be furious with Gui about that wanky posh wedding shit, and I wanna be, but...fuckin hell I just had the best sex of my life on Halloween an if Gui lets me give him a seein to like that regularly, then we can get married on the fuckin moon for all I care.

I couldn’t believe he actually let me go on top, and he fuckin loved it. He told me to keep the suit on an all while we done it. What a pervert, he’s so fuckin brilliant. I’m gonna buy a closet full of them suits!

Nov. 7th, 2013

I can't believe it's already been a week since Halloween! I felt like a right toff in that Eton suit, though I guess that was the point. Havin a proper top hat and cane was brilliant. I kept whacking Pete in the back of the legs with my cane when he least expected it, trying to make him fall down haha.

The music at the club was kinda shit cos 90’s pop weren’t no good the first time around, so it ain’t any better the second time, but I was pissed so I never minded that much really. Especially when fuckin Spice Girls came on and Gui knew all the words to the song, hahaha. I am marrying the world’s biggest poof! He played it off like it’s cos he been best mates with a girl his whole life, but that don’t excuse him singing along to it at the club!

Seein’ him dressed like a chav was dead funny too, especially when he tried to do the accent. He’s rubbish at it! He sounded like one of them old timey cockneys, like that bird on My Fair Lady before they teach her to be posh.

I was well glad we decided to take a long weekend, cos theres no way I coulda gone to work on friday. I spent half the day in bed, moaning about my hangover. How did the rest of you lot do with yours?

[screened from Gui]

So me an Gui went to see that wanky fuckin mansion he wants to get married at. I mean I reckon it's pretty enough if your a total toff, but it just don't really feel like us. By the end of the tour I was ready to lamp him one anyway, cos he kept makin comments about how "My mum will like this" or "My parents would love this place." Fuckin marry your mum then if your so invested in her opinion! Fuckin hell, he's 32 years old. I ain't gave a shit what my parents thought since I were a teenager.

I hate goin to posh places like that anyway cos everyone treats Gui like he's a fuckin prince and then I open my mouth and they hear my accent and look at me like I ain't even good enough to step foot inside their cunting mansion. I swear the bird what gave us the tour kept eyeing me like I was gonna nick somethin. I mean, I did nick a stupid little figurine off one of the tables when her back was turned, but only cos she kept lookin at me like I was gonna. Self fulling prophecy innit? Fuckin served her right. I never told Gui I did it, cos he'd just kick off at me about it. It's one thing bein hacked off at him, but I don't wanna get into a proper fight really.

Also last week me an Gui got our halloween costumes. We're gonna dress up as each other, haha. I got a suit what looks like one of them proper Eton ones, with a top hat an all and he's gonna go as a chav in Adidas trackies and a gold chain necklace I got from Argos. It's like the shit I used to wear as a teenager, haha. It's gonna be brilliant...as long as Gui don't do nothin else to piss me off before then.

Oct. 12th, 2013

Oh my god, you know what's the worst fuckin thing ever? Havin to go to work on a saturday!! I thought the whole point of havin our own gallery was that we'd get to set our own hours and only come in when we wanted...BUT NO, it's saturday morning and here we are. We ain't been sellin as much lately cos it's a weird time of year with summer bein over and there bein less tourists now and it bein too early for people to Christmas shop. Gui thought we'd get more people in the gallery if we switched our hours so we was open on the weekend and took monday and tuesday off instead. I mean he's probably right but it sucks anyway cos it kind of feels like he's my boss and setin my hours. haha I am shagging my boss and I still have to come in to work on a saturday, that is bullshit! :P

As far as wedding news...Gui agreed that we can get married in London, but we're still deciding between two venues, cos we can't agree. I reckon I'll wind up getting my way, cos I usually do. It just takes ages to wear Gui down into agreeing with me :P

Fuckin hell the gallery is just so boring today. There ain't even anyone in here right now except me and Gui. Considering there ain't anything else to do, reckon I might as well fill out one of them lame survey things what used to be popular ages ago. It ain't like I'm gonna pass up an excuse to talk about myself :PRead more...Collapse )

Sep. 13th, 2013

June threw me an Gui a surprise engagement party last saturday! It was brilliant, cos we really weren't expectin nothin. I thought we was just goin to the park for a picnic and then when we met her there, she had a whole proper set up with a table and strings of lights and our mates was there an all!

She got us a pressie too, which was dead nice! And I got to show off my engagement ring to everyone what ain't seen it yet...and to people what have, cos I made everyone look at it like 100 times, haha.

Me an Gui also finally hired a proper wedding planner to help us. She's gonna take us around to look at venues this weekend cos some places get booked up like a year in advance! That's mental, havin to book sommat that far out. Reckon this is why some people just go down to the registrar and get it done there. Not that I'd ever let Gui get away with that!

Aug. 17th, 2013

All this wedding plannin bollocks would go well faster if Gui would just let me have my way on everythin :P I ain't being a brat about it or nothin, but Gui is mental if he thinks people are gonna wanna fly to France just for our weddin. Everyone ain't rich enough to just take a holiday for sommat like that. Plus there ain't no way Gui's mum would let us get married in their back garden. She HATES me! She'd probably try to poison me before the ceremony even started or sommat, haha.

Reckon me an Gui are gonna turn into one of them couples what can't talk about nothin but there own weddin. It's a load of plannin though. Gui even signed up for one of them pinterest accounts like a huge poof so he could bookmark wedding ideas. Even though he's the one what proposed to me, he's well the bride, cos he spends ages lookin at wedding pictures.

Speakin of sommat what ain't weddings, I was watchin movies on Gui's ipad an I found one what Max approves of. haha he actually sat there an looked at the screen for a few minutes! Guess he recognised his turtle brothers :P
I been well busy lately. Gui's birthday was the end of last month, and I baked a cake for him an all! I ain't ever made a cake before, an now I can see why people buy them already made ones cos it's a fuckin hassle. I didn't think I was doin too bad at it, but then I started to frost it before it cooled down completely and the frosting started melting off! D:

It still tasted good though, even though it looked like thisCollapse )

Also I'm dead excited about that marriage bill what passed a few days ago! Now when me and Gui get married next year it can be a real proper wedding and not some retarded civil union bollocks what ain't actually equal at all.

We finally decided on wedding invitations, so once we got the venue and date sorted, then we can get them printed up. I couldn't believe how expensive some of them were. When you go into one of them wedding places they might as well just actually fuckin mug you, cos £1000 for a pack of invitations and RSVP cards is robbery!

June was well excited to hear about all the wedding plans, cos she and Pete slept over last saturday, so I showed them all the stuff we got figured out so far. I also put a rubber snake in Pete's sleeping bag and he thought it was real and screamed like a girl, hahaha.
Wow I ain't posted in ages, but that's cos I have been actually buried alive under wedding magazines. Fuckin hell, plannin a wedding is the most complicated thing ever! I reckoned it'd be dead easy cos it's just like a party innit? An I've thrown tons of parties, but it's well more than that, cos you gotta think about the venue and music and flowers and wedding colours and a photographer and food and wedding favours and suits and groomsmen and...I don't even know what else.

We're gonna have it next spring cos I wanted to do it this summer but everythin is booked already cos I guess people start plannin there weddings loads of time in advance. We still ain't set the official date but it's probably gonna be like March or April 2014. Once we get it sorted we'll send out them little fancy cards what have the date on it.

We ain't even got our wedding colours decided yet. I said dark blue an white, but then Gui realised that's Millwall colours and he told me we ain't havin a football themed wedding, haha. I weren't even tryin to! They was just the first two colours what popped into my head.

I reckon none of that even matter too much though cos it's been a month since we got engaged and I still ain't managed to wipe the smile off my face every time I look at my ring <3

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